MaJaMa Jams

all those movies won't watch themselves...

MaJaMa is specialized in procrastination as well as in watching movies, while eating delivery pizza or home-cooked spaghetti.

So… Why not make something out of that?

This is the whole series of “MaJaMa Jams.” Yes, right now it doesn’t look like much, but give us a few years, and… It will still not look like much.

MaJaMa sits down to view Oren Peli’s long-delayed ‘Area 51’ and probes just what caused this UFO found footage follow-up to fail to find its fans.

MaJaMa recoils in horror as their lives are forever changed by ‘Wild Beasts,’ an Italian movie where cracked-out creatures confront cinematic cruelty.

MaJaMa has a blast while watching ‘Hellzapoppin’,’ your average hodgepodge, razzle-dazzle, flim-flam, toe-tapping, rompin’-stompin’, bumfuzzling, whippersnapper, hullaballoo, lollygagging, flibbertigibbet, whirligig of a movie.

Stop-motion galore stops MaJaMa’s heart while enjoying a good ole clash of enormous reptilians in ‘Dinosaurus!,’ a Brobdingnagian battle between brawny behemoths.

A satellite dish mishap titillates MaJaMa’s interest in ‘TerrorVision,’ a corrosive caper chock-full of creature cruelty and a community of crazy cuckoos.

MaJaMa finds its inner myrmecologist thanks to ‘Them!,’ an incendiary incident involving increasingly inordinate innocuous insects.

It’s an Italian comic book-palooza for MaJaMa with ‘Danger Diabolik,’ where a powerful pilferer persistently pillories the police and partakes in potent pillages.

MaJaMa’s eyes are agog while they check the amazing ‘Pieces,’ a breathtaking brouhaha of broad breadth with blades, beds, bits, blood, and boards.

It’s a sci-fi adventure for MaJaMa with ‘Earth Minus Zero,’ a catastrophic cosmic caper concocted by a clever creature which cunningly compacts clumsy characters in a cramped, chaotic condition.

MaJaMa is shocked and mildly terrified by ‘Deep Red – Profondo Rosso,’ a multitude of murders marring a musician’s métier, with mumbling mediums, mysterious mirrors, and mechanical marionettes.

MaJaMa watches in awe the most-maligned ‘Maximum Overdrive,’ where a torrent of truculent trucks trek tirelessly towards total territorial terror and a tiny troop tries to thwart their takeover.

MaJaMa enters the monoverse with TV’s ‘Dr. Strange,’ a wondrous window to witchy worlds where warlocks want to whip whimsical women, wipe worthy warriors and win the whole wallop.

MaJaMa relives its working past with ‘The Promotion,’ the sparkling story of a superstore staff striving to secure superior salaries, suppressing several snags, and satisfying supporting spouses.

MaJaMa is elated while watching ‘Benny Loves You,’ a poignant parable of a poor, pusillanimous person and a perilous psycho-puppet prone to produce pain.

MaJaMa roots for ‘Reptilian,’ a delightful diegesis of a dug-up dreadful dinosaur who decides to duel a drove of drones and dodge disruptive devices.

MaJaMa is enamored with ‘Fair Game,’ where a muttering modeler meets her match in a malicious mamba and meanders in a mediocre mishap.

MaJaMa giggles at the zombie-buddy-buddy-cop-adventure-comedy ‘Dead Heat,’ where corpses and cadavers circumvent the closing curtains and commence a comeback with chills, capers and… cutlets?

MaJaMa marvels at magnificent movie-making with ‘The Silence of the Hams,’ a massive moment for Matteo that made many merry memories and manifested a meeting with Mel.

MaJaMa wanders into creepy territory thanks to ‘The AntiChrist,’ which presents the problems of a powerful possession with a possible parturition, peppered with perilous paintings, pernicious paraphernalia, and projectile puking.

MaJaMa follows the misadventures of mischievous ‘Drop Dead Fred’ in a fun fable of feats, fondness, frolicking and foolishness which features a fanciable frail with freaky frocks.

MaJaMa is titillated by ‘Tintorera,’ the tale of a tantalizing trio trying to thwart threats of terrifying tiburóns while tangled in trysts too tempting to terminate.

MaJaMa giggles while flossing the ‘Cruel Jaws,’ the chronicles of a callous Carcharodon carcharias chomping on clumsy characters from the coastline of a clueless city – how cutthroat!

MaJaMa is eyes agog and mouths agape thanks to ‘La Polizia Indaga il Crimine,’ an incoherent Italian incident of immeasurable idiocy, immensely inept and intriguingly ignoble.

MaJaMa catches the ‘80s by their tail with the buddy-buddy escapade ‘Collision Course,’ a cliffhanging caper where a couple of clashing cops from contrasting cultures chase a clever contraption, cribbed by criminals and carefully concealed on a car. Oh, and a chin.

It’s the 25th weekversary of our show, and MaJaMa cleanses its palate thanks to ‘The Stuff,’ a surprising story of a slithering sorbet seeping from soil to satisfy shoppers with a spellbinding savor… and a secret.

MaJaMa is titillated by the artistic masterpiece that is ‘Howl from Beyond the Fog,’ a beautiful bestiary of a blind beast, who blots out in billowing brume, blocked in a beautiful background by bad builders.

MaJaMa is elated to have discovered the giddy ‘Watch Out, We’re Mad!,’ the delightful deed of a duo determined to draw a destroyed dune-buggy from a drove of dim-witted delinquents.

MaJaMa is quite stunned by the wasted potential of ‘Hell Comes to Frogtown,’ the bizarre but bland business of a blond burly boy and a blonde boffin in a burgh brimming with batrachians.

MaJaMa scrutinizes a children’s movie, ‘Andy The Talking Hedgehog,’ a magical mission of a minute mammal who mumbles and mutters, mixed with the machinations of mean muggers with mischievous maneuvers.

MaJaMa investigates a Kids-in-the-Hall-alumni’s movie, ‘The Wrong Guy,’ the history of a homuncular human hooked in a humongous howler of Hitchcokian height, with homicides, hideouts, and holey humor.

MaJaMa scrutinizes a post-apocalyptic flick, ‘1990: The Bronx Warriors,’ the brash business of a brigade of bikers battling brave bands, ballsy builders and blonde babes in the battered Bronx.

MaJaMa yawns in fear while chewing on ‘RATS – Night of Terror,’ where resourceful and ribald rascals rummage relinquished residences and resist a ring of ravenous rodents.

MaJaMa jumps into Bollywood with ‘Mahakaal,’ a pleasant yet petrifying piece where petulant persons and pugnacious phantoms are part of a perilous period of panic, plagiarism, and picnics.

MaJaMa is delighted and giggly thanks to ‘Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein,’ a funny and frightening feast filled with formidable fiends, fathomless fears, farcical fixes and a fella fallaciously famous as Frankenstein.

For the first time MaJaMa doubles down with the one-two punch of ’S.I.C.K.’ and ‘2 S.I.C.K.’ where a cutthroat clown concocts cunning charges, carving clueless campers or chopping cruel cousins in chilling, creepy and cheap capers.

In honor of the passing of Reed Morgan, MaJaMa cracks its vault open to resurrect a quasi-pilot of “Jams” show with ‘Octaman,’ a tedious tale of a transmuted tentacled thing that terrorizes a tarn, tears a trailer and thrusts travelers through a Tartarean tunnel. Tough.

MaJaMa basks in the Californian sun with ‘Phat Beach,’ a cloudless car-cruisin’ caper with a couple of chums chasing chicks, competing for cash and… craving for Coolio?

MaJaMa takes a gamble with ‘Indecent Proposal,’ a billionaire’s blue bind to bawdy bribe a bloke with boodle to barter a breathtakingly beautiful bride. Bizarre!

MaJaMa has a ball with ‘Joe’s Apartment,’ a riotous romp in a raggedy room replenished with remarkable and resourceful roaches, responsible for the removal of a racket, rollicking rock-n-roll, and the rise of a rich romance.

‘Superbug Goes Wild’ sucks MaJaMa into a swirling shitstorm of stupefaction as we suffer a tsunami of staticky seventies stock footage.

MaJaMa is mesmerized by the protagonist’s locks in ‘Under Crystal Lake,’ a complicated conundrum… of chilling… chatter– AAAAAH, screw it!! It’s KEN HEBERT DAY!!

MaJaMa kicks off the Christmas holidays with a quasi-sorta-almost Christmas movie, ‘Tre Great Rupert,’ the sweet story of a skilled squirrel who swings, spins, skips and steals, supporting a squad of showmen while scavenging and staring at a substantial schnoz.

MaJaMa watches the whimsical ‘Christmas Every Day,’ a continuous celebration of Christmas in a cycle certain to corrode a child’s contentment with carolers, cheers, churches, cans, Carrie, and a crashing car.

Another corpse is resurrected from MaJaMa’s graveyard! Watch what happens with three friends attempt to survive a “review” of the Sci-Fi “classic” “Star Crash” with full bellies of spaghetti! Nothing really happens I guess…but watch it!

MaJaMa watches ‘Ghostbusters Afterlife,’ a movie that sucks.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the first serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: ‘Big Boss Grill Infomercial’!

MaJaMa has made a terrible mistake and opened the long sealed tomb of ‘Hudson Hawk’. Will they be able to watch AND discuss it?! Or will this film claim yet another victim? We don’t know, which is why we’re asking. Hello?

MaJaMa watches ‘Belly Fruit,’ the surprisingly potent cinematic debut of The Asylum, proving that true horror isn’t machetes and demons, but rather filled diapers and responsibilities.

MaJaMa watches ‘The Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge,’ a movie that proves Pauly Shore is tolerable in small doses, but a cobra to the genitals isn’t.

MaJaMa explores “Jason X,” a movie where a serial killer doesn’t know how to sign his name, apparently.

MaJaMa explores ‘When Time Ran Out…,’ a movie whose title either refers to a dormant volcano or a cast of octogenarians.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the second serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: ‘Traffic School – A New Sitcom’!

MaJaMa is baffled by ‘Leonard Part 6,’ a movie that set onscreen ostrich representation back about ten years and may also be the closest Matteo will ever get to experiencing a psychedelic trip.

MaJaMa is shocked (get it?) by ‘Nightmare Beach’, a religious parable that gives us yet another reason to be wary of priests and reaffirms the timeless hilarity of a fake shark fin.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the third serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: From Dario Argento’s DVD of his movie, ‘Giallo,’ it’s the Featurette ‘A Short Walk in the Magic Turin’!

MaJaMa finally grants Jason’s wish and watches Heartbeeps, a movie so bad it gave Andy Kaufman lung cancer and ultimately killed him. Or did it?

MaJaMa has a double feature of both Rollerballs, an experience similar to having a birthday party on 9/11 that confirms both the worst tendencies of Hollywood and the gloriousness of James Caan’s chest hair.

MaJaMa watches ‘Society,’ a movie that broke ground for incest representation in cinema and that gives Ghostbusters a run for its ‘movie that ends with the most people covered in glop’ crown.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the fourth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: From the supplementary material of ‘House of Wax’ (2005), it’s the Featurette ‘B-Roll and Bloopers – Video Cast Commentary’!

MaJaMa has a second Trite Nite with ‘Catwoman,’ a movie that sucks.

MaJaMa watches ‘Highball,’ a bare bones, low budget affair that reminds them of their own ‘Bad CGI Sharks,’ but much better as it features Dean Cameron setting himself on fire.

MaJaMa is perplexed by ‘Electric Dreams,’ an of-its-time tale of computer lust with a killer soundtrack and a protagonist that makes coma patients seem lively.

MaJaMa glimpses the future of law enforcement as they watch Red Letter Media’s magnum opus ‘Space Cop,’ a movie carried almost exclusively on the shoulders of Rich Evans, the third most famous carpenter in history.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the fifth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: From the supplementary material of Canibus’ CD “Def Con Zero,” it’s the interview with the man himself!

MaJaMa goes down the rabbit hole with Altered States, a stellar piece of psychedelic sci fi that unfortunately gives Jason another reason to rant endlessly about mushrooms.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the sixth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: From the mind of Italy’s Tommy Wiseau, it’s the latest effort of Enzo Sorrentino (see Jams #23), “Spider-Enzo”!

MaJaMa unearths the low budget symphony that is ‘Bloody Muscle Body Builder from Hell,’ an ‘Evil Dead’ homage where the can-do spirit does most of the heavy lifting, with the gorgeous practical effects as its spotter.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the seventh serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: One of the best training videos ever put to… uh… video. It’s “Hallmark – Commit to Excellence”!

MaJaMa watches Doctor Detroit, a perplexing tornado of genuine comedic energy that misfires while still remaining a solid entry in the white-man-becomes-a-pimp sub-genre.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the eight serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: The amazing 1993 VHS “Form… Focus… Fitness – The Marky Mark Workout”!

Mr. Miyagi, Pedro and Ponch (as a gay mayor), plus a gigantic snake? You had MaJaMa at “Mr. Miyagi, Pedro and Ponch (as a gay mayor), plus a gigantic snake,” so now they’re watching ‘King Cobra’!

An old coot, a damsel not too much in distress, an odd playboy and two henchmen who are more men than henches (whatever that is). Oh, and a record-setting fall. It’s ‘Highpoint,’ baby!

Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear, and it shows them quite a lot for the camera and not only that in this week’s FIRST movie (out of two) MaJaMa watches for “Shark Week.” It’s ‘Mako The Jaws of Death’! Which other shark movie will be MaJaMa watching next week? Only time will tell…)

It’s pure, unadulterated Tommy Wiseau. Do you need anything more?

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the ninth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: “Predator Raw: The Unseen Tapes – Episode 1.”

“Ghoulies” come to MaJaMa (and vice versa) in this episode filled with carnage, puppets, and round-headed kids.

They call him “yeti,” “Sasquatch,” “Bigfoot”… But MaJaMa calls him “crap.”

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the tenth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: Enzo Sorrentino’s “Le Ali Nere di un Vampiro.”

MaJaMa watches what ON PAPER should have been Jason’s Holy Grail. Ultimately, it’s Jason’s “Holy Sh%$!!”

Longing to watch a nice movie, MaJaMa has selected a masterpiece from sure-fire director Rob Reiner. Boy, were they surprised by “North”!

In the desperate questo to find a movie with ZERO reviews on YouTube, MaJaMa has unearthed “Message in a Cell Phone” – and it’s still regretting it to these days.

It’s episode 69 of our show, and since – collectively – MaJaMa is 14 years old (at least mentally), it wanted to do a sexy movie for the occasion. Hence, “Hardbodies”!

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the eleventh serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: “Makin’ It Great (Pizza Hut Training Video).”

For Halloween, MaJaMa has a third Trite Nite with ‘Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2,’ a movie that’s just been misunderstood.

For their second Halloween episode of 2023, MaJaMa goes Italian (relatively speaking) with weird creatures, weirder characters and the weirdest movie they could find. It’s “Creatures from the Abyss” (spoiler alert!! They are creatures. And they are from the abyss).

For the third Halloween episode, MaJaMa watches the fourth installment of the saga of Angela, a troubled former teen who lives in a troubled former movie. It’s “Return to Sleepaway Camp,” and it’s dreadful!

It’s the last episode for Halloween 2023, and MaJaMa closes the month whit a bang. Well, more with a squeak, but who cares? It’s the instant classic “Shaking Dark,” a.k.a. “Terminator 2,” by the great Bruno Mattei!

EXCLUSIVE!! MaJaMa brings you the translated version of “La Polizia Indaga Il Crimine,” an explosive story about… um, there ARE police, and apparently they’re worst shots in history. Please laugh along with as The Police Investigate the Crime! (Seriously, that’s what it translates to).

MaJaMa watches the first spoof of the disaster movies ever to grace the silver screen: It’s the bizarre “The Big Bus,” a movie that is, indeed, a movie.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the twelfth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: “Chutzpah This Is?”

EXCLUSIVE!! MaJaMa brings you the translated version of “Le Ali Nere di un Vampiro,” a terrifying story about… um, the oldest Dracula who’s ever lived and who has problems opening his coffin from the inside. Please laugh while watching The Black Wings of a Vampire (Fun Fact: The vampire in question never shows his wings).

MaJaMa watches ‘Rise of the Skywalker,’ a movie that sucks.

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the thirteenth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: Enzo Sorrentino’s “Miracolo sul Sentiero” (Miracle on the Path).

It’s (almost) Christmas, and MaJaMa watches a Christmas quasi-sorta-vaguely classic, “A Light in the Forest” – also known as “The Legend of Holly Boy.”

EXCLUSIVE!! It is a Christmas-y movie by Enzo Sorrentino in all its splendor and its… Uh… Whatever it is. It’s the subtitled version of “Miracolo sul Sentiero” (or, “Miracle on the Path”).

Yes – Italy went there, and produced a cartoon about the Titanic, because nothing suggests the idea for a cartoon with talking animals like a catastrophic tragedy. So, enjoy (relatively speaking) this episode on “Titanic: The Legend Goes On…”

This one was supposed to be our 11th episode. Due to force majeure, we were – well – forced NOT to publish it… Until now!! So please enjoy a long lost episode of MaJaMa Jams dedicated to the wonderful “The Pool”!!

MaJaMa checks under the table where it dissects movie after movie, only to find a majestic world of morsels, fragments, atoms, bits, hints, specks, ounces, iotas, particles, crumb, shreds, grains, droplets, touches, traces, spots, tittles of other non-movie stuff. So… Here you have, the fourteenth serving of MaJaMa Scraps! Today’s Scrap: “Meego” (the Pilot Episode).

Do you remember that monster movie from 1999, “Lake Placid”? Well, MaJaMa decided to watch its first sequel, and let’s say that it could have been better. Today we dissect “Lake Placid 2.”

Episode who knows which will come soon.

More stuff will happen. Probably. But don’t hold your breath.